Just Another Post

I never actually confident about my ability, and I'm not so sure about my existence either. But I always say to my self that I exist to be my parent's successor, so whatever happens, I should stay alive, and that suicide means ungrateful for what God and my parent has done to me for this past 23 years.
But lately I've been wondering if it's alright to stay this way.
My mom is not proud at me, my father is not,
my self is not.
I always assure my self that everything will be okay and that what I did will be right for them, someday.
But it's already 23 years, yeah?
I will be 24 soon.
I don't know, I feel really lost and that God is the only one who I can hang on to.. I feel kinda lonely at house, yes, house, not home.
I feel so stupid for not being a good kid.

RIP Cory Monteith

I'm going to make a short post for my beloved Glee cast, Cory Monteith.

He reported dead today (Jul 13th 2013) and please don't talk like it's 13 13 so it's bad luck. No, guys, just no.

You may be an anti-Glee but please don't talk bad about a person who's already dead.

I saw Cory on Glee, as Finn, he's not my favorite character in season one and two, but as soon as he entered college and tried to help New Direction, I love him more.

His voice is unique, and he was also a good man.

He was struggling with drugs and alcohol.

RIP my boy.

Your voice will always be my inspiration. 

Pacific Rim, Pure Awesomeness!

<SPOILERS AHEAD>
I never liked Kaiju, I never liked Giant Robot on giant screen.
But this thing, made me go crazy over it.
Yes, Pacific Rim.
As Del Toro said, he was inspired by Japanese animes,mangas,films, stuffs like that, so he made this movie.
I never believed American works for Japanese adaptation or "inspired by" but heck this movie was a blast. He was also inspired by Fransisco Goya's The Colossus, which, I believe it's also inspiration for Shingeki no Kyojin.
So, Pacific Rim is all about a boy and his toys. Boys will love this movie. Girls will probably go "meh." BUT GIRLS, do give this movie a shot please, it will be worth to watch.
Okay, so.
Pacific Rim told us about a near apocalypse experience on human being. While most movies took Zombie as their apocalypse trigger, this movie took Kaiju (Giant Monster) as an apocalypse. These Kaijus, aren't like Godzilla, which actuallya came from earth (if I am not mistaken) they actually came from another space, wanting to take our earth down.
The main character is Raleigh, a handsome young man who lost his brother in the fight against Kaiju (Ultraman-ish Kaijus). He and his brother was the pilot of Jaeger (Shingeki no Kyojin), a giant robot made by humans to kill Kaiju, but sadly, his brother died fighting the giant monster. This Jaeger thing is an unique combination between Dinosaurs, Iron Man, Evangelion, and Gundam, I should say. You must be synchronized (Evangelion) to piloting this Giant Robot (that somewhat Gundam-ish, especially the toes), with a repulsor on it's hand and chest (Iron Man), but the unique thing is, this Jaeger must be piloted by two people, two brains (Dinosaurs), combined, so they share memories with each other. If you can't accept or doesn't have a strong bond with the other pilot, then the Jaeger won't move, and you might die.
After his brother's death, Raleigh works for a wall of hope (Shingeki no Kyojin) for humanity to defend human from Kaijus, but in the end, the wall is easily crushed by a Kaiju and Jaeger comes in again to help the human.
Kaijus are evolving, so Jaeger is slowly pushed back, broken, killed, until there's only 4 Jaegers left. And Raleigh is needed back on the team to pilot his Gypsy, that once, piloted by him and his brother. With the memories he had with his brother, can he be a better pilot than before? Watch it on the Pacific Rim!
Oops, another spoiler, don't fall in love with the supporting characters. :3
Here are some pictures of Pacific Rim! Enjoy and please leave a comment if you love to!

Cool pilot suit yo! (Raleigh and his new partner, Mako)

I was scared when I saw Kaijus bombarding the city. Like the first impression I had for Shingeki. Hello, Ultraman-ish Kaiju.

Goya's The Colossus and our Jaeger

Repulsor HAND! No, this was actually a test to be a pilot.

images are from http://nerdreactor.com

Just a Random Saying

It feels weird. 

When your house called you a freak, a sick human.

Yet what you do is only to meet their expectation.

I'm tired.

I've been trying to do it for my whole life.

And they always see me as a freak...?

When I tried to speak my mind,

they always say that I'm looking for excuses.

They say, they raised me wrongly.

But they still scolding me, even hurting me when I was a kid.

I'm a grown woman right now.

Talking about this thing in my age is actually innapropriate, but

I do feel inferior.

Maybe they never see me as a person that feel inferior because

I always pretend that I am awesome. I do. 

I'm traumatized by... this thing you called "just speak your mind to them!"

I ever do that, three times.

And it all went bad.

First, they scold me back, calling me a faker. 

Two faced, they never expected me to do that.

What you gonna do? 

I'm holding it for 8 years that time.

Second time, was worse.

They didn't even remember the thing that made me sad ever happened when I was a little girl.

Third time, is the first time I cried in front of them.

And they scold me back, again, for crying.

And didn't hear me out in the end.

I don't understand what rule that going in to this house.

I stopped trying to kill my self when I realize that it's pointless.

They called me a sick.

Yet I'm just trying to meet your expectations.

I just don't understand. 

But I love my friends, I love my little own world on my bed before I go to sleep.

I love the world I create on the piece of paper.

I will still survive.

No matter what it takes.