I never actually confident about my ability, and I'm not so sure about my existence either. But I always say to my self that I exist to be my parent's successor, so whatever happens, I should stay alive, and that suicide means ungrateful for what God and my parent has done to me for this past 23 years.
But lately I've been wondering if it's alright to stay this way.
My mom is not proud at me, my father is not,
my self is not.
I always assure my self that everything will be okay and that what I did will be right for them, someday.
But it's already 23 years, yeah?
I will be 24 soon.
I don't know, I feel really lost and that God is the only one who I can hang on to.. I feel kinda lonely at house, yes, house, not home.
I feel so stupid for not being a good kid.
keep working
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